Decisive Moment
L'image sauvette, Henri Cartier-Bresson's term for the perfect, still moment captured. If there is one, perhaps it is right now. The house is ripped apart with boxes packed and half-packed, a dumpster by the barn, the barn nearly emptied for the first time in nearly 18 years, the tool shed nearly in the same state, and all of us exhausted. Sally nearly did herself in, carrying a bed down the barn stairs and falling off about three steps from the bottom. She called for help and I ran across the yard to find her on her back, bruised but OK, at least so far. She'll be stiff tomorrow, for sure.
The water man came, the third time. We bleached the water or shocked the well, as you prefer. I hope we'll find a more positive result this time around. This has become a troublesome spot for us, while the mortgage approval for the buyers has stalled and now livened up, with two companies competing to have the new mortgage. It sounds good for the buyers. We hope to close at the beginning of next week. We have an apartment to rent in Providence, through the end of May. The ducks are lining up. Of course we are broke. I was hoping to use American Express, my Gold standard for 23 years, only to find the card's been cancelled due to loyalty on my part. I have no faith in that institution. I feel abandoned. Here I am, looking backwards at all these years in this ancient place where so much happened in our lives, thinking about the town we are leaving, while looking ahead, to whatever is around the corner. Resolution is the first thing, and then, how to live, now not to repeat our mistakes, so many of which have surfaced in the boxes and letters I've rushed through over the past few weeks. It is amazing to see how beaten down I have become over the years. Not long ago, I thought I had the world by the short hairs. I haven't felt that way for many years, the attrition caused by too many defeats. This revitalizes and tells me to press on regardless, to never accept defeat, as I am afraid I have. This move is the catharsis of leaving the disasters behind, of emerging stronger and prepared for the next chapter of our lives. It is never easy, is it?
The water man came, the third time. We bleached the water or shocked the well, as you prefer. I hope we'll find a more positive result this time around. This has become a troublesome spot for us, while the mortgage approval for the buyers has stalled and now livened up, with two companies competing to have the new mortgage. It sounds good for the buyers. We hope to close at the beginning of next week. We have an apartment to rent in Providence, through the end of May. The ducks are lining up. Of course we are broke. I was hoping to use American Express, my Gold standard for 23 years, only to find the card's been cancelled due to loyalty on my part. I have no faith in that institution. I feel abandoned. Here I am, looking backwards at all these years in this ancient place where so much happened in our lives, thinking about the town we are leaving, while looking ahead, to whatever is around the corner. Resolution is the first thing, and then, how to live, now not to repeat our mistakes, so many of which have surfaced in the boxes and letters I've rushed through over the past few weeks. It is amazing to see how beaten down I have become over the years. Not long ago, I thought I had the world by the short hairs. I haven't felt that way for many years, the attrition caused by too many defeats. This revitalizes and tells me to press on regardless, to never accept defeat, as I am afraid I have. This move is the catharsis of leaving the disasters behind, of emerging stronger and prepared for the next chapter of our lives. It is never easy, is it?
posted by Stonechuck at 8:49 PM
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