Brown Patch

A peculiar brown patch emerged in last August's drought along the pathway to the door. And an unpleasant odor emanated from the far end of the house. Fearing the worst, I eventually connected the two. Irma Bombeck was incorrect: the grass does not grow greener over the septic tank. The tank, however, was a puzzlement until yesterday, when it was unsealed after some fifteen years. I had to dig a circle about a foot deep in the lawn to find the cap. Mr. Chaves of Acme Septic did the rest. All turned out well enough, the soup inside intense and foul, but the tank was not filled solid or blocked. Some nonbiodgradable plastic products were there, including a diaper. We have tenants; who knows? How it travelled through the pipes amazes me. The next question will be whether the stench by the back door disappears. It will, hopefully, and for a couple of hundred dollars instead of the feared tens of thousands. Installation of septic fields is highly regulated. We will need to attend to our own effluent carefully in the years to come, every four years Mr. Chaves told me. Already the soil has been shovelled and raked back across the hole. I'll plant some seed and by next summer, the spot will be undiscernable until the next dry spell, but its mystery has been resolved. Of course the dogs found it necessary to roll on their backs in the vicinity of where the 40 gallons-per-minute hose leaked some of the sludge it extracted. A perfect storm, combining Hurricane Wilma with a nor'easter outside should drown those telltale remains before the sun comes up tomorrow.