The Son of a Preacher Mam

The son of a Presbyterian minister wrote me a note and asked me if I would read his "common essay" for applying to universities this year. He is a nice kid, and he is smart and has much to recommend him. But he has a flaw. He either is, or he seems to be, arrogant. He wrote an essay about an experience he had had at a religious retreat, and how, protected, white, privileged, he fell silent among others in the group, thinking he might not have much to share. Some of them had experienced hardships he had never seen. Years later he decides how much he actually knows and had to share. The problem is, he is still the same person, slightly evolved, but still aloof and more full of his own wisdom. I am afraid that the College Admissions reviewers will read his essay as a superficial treatment by a glib young man of an interesting topic. I have tried to suggest that he rewrite the piece, but expect that my comments may not be very well received. Having once been 18 and just as conceited, I am sure, I suspect my attempt to help will be rebuffed and my self and opinion to be reviled.