Really Scared

You know, this "Time for a Change" may seem kind of laid back, my personal observations, measured, all taken in tranquility, but I am worried. Really, really scared for the first time, as the sand runs through the glass. Nothing's happened, nothing is happening to make our house sell. Nobody is even coming through our doors, and the money's running out of them, rivers of it, month after month. And the bills. The bills! I can see how people panic; I feel panicky all the time, but I have promised myself to hang in on this responsibility of mine. I have walked along the edge for months and months this year, and another time, for a year and a half without health insurance, and another time, for over a year without paying a mortgage and through many rounds of unemployment. I am in one of those cycles now. No work. No prospects. It is time for the tough to hang tough. No flinching, no bailing out. Stay steady; solutions will follow. Take deep breaths. Breathe for Chrissakes. But there is a toll for all of this. It is called stress, and I do not like it very much.