Fricken Chrismas

It's fricken chrismastime again, and I hate it. Just an entirely depressing crock of manure to deal with, all this down time, this false religion. And all the compulsive, stupid presents and present giving, mostly resulting in debt. This is the first year I can say that I just don't want to know about it. I have three days to change my mind, and I really don't feel like it. I cannot say just what this is all about. Lousy, bickering relationship with wife? The transition from old house to new apartment? Move from country to city? No fun? No friends? No sale of house? Or is it dealing with a 13 year-old know it all, rather spoiled daughter? Is it the midlife crunch time, with me feeling old and beside the point? Feeling broke? Unemployed? Stress? Fuck it! It's fricken chrismas, that's all I have to say. Goddam!

Last night it went down to three degrees above zero, from in the forties the night before. And this afternoon it is above freezing again. Go figure! It is all part of this weirdo, senseless time of the year. I've gotta do something about my frame of mind. It sucks. Take Dad's leftover Zoloft pills or something. Self-medicate; I don't dare! Get drunk? I don't think so. Get a life? You bettcha, but where do I start, and when? Iknow what's going to happen. I'll just get into the car, drive to a mall and pull out the plastic and buy, buy, buy. No, this is crazier still! What do I do? Eat some chocolate? Life is like a box of chocolate. Go for it, Forrest Gump! Fricken chrismas. It'll be over soon, thanks, and I cannot wait!